When this girl was little she could judge only little things around her, everyday little concerns.а She could decide what book does she want to read or what cartoon to watch.а She could read because her parents taught her how to.а They didnТt ask her they just did.а And she was grateful to them for it.а When she was seven, she went to school.а Her parents registered her and took there.а They didnТt ask her did she want it or no.а They just knew she did.а Even if she wouldnТt have wanted to Ц they knew better.а And they were right.
ааааааааа Later on little
by little she started to think more by herself.а She started to understand that she has to continue everything she
did before by thrust.а But yet she
couldnТt realize that everything what was done to her was done to make her
better, to develop her personality.а
Decisions she made then were a little more important but not really
trusted so far.а She kept making herself
more intelligent, more educated, more credible Ц more human Ц but with some
help.а She somewhat succeed, in some
ideas she failed but she kept trying.а
And this was her best achievement so far.
ааааааааа She grew
older.а She understood much more. She
was less and less dependent on others.а
But still she was trying to improve her Self.а Her individuality.а She
started to brood about things she never did before; about something higher than
toys and movies, dishes and shopping.а
Her books changed a lot.а Her
thoughts and urges did too.а She still
was trying to perfect her being, her soul and flesh.а But the big difference was that now she realized it.а She did it in purpose.а Because human beings, though they have been
placed here with other creatures, they have so many ways to go! Just because
they have self-consciousness.а She was
thinking that if we have the life to live, we have to live it, to ask for more
from our inner and outer world.а We have
to do our best to be given the best.а
And that is why she was trying to dip herself into different colors of
the world in order to become multicolored and to establish better relations
with the colorful world.а She didnТt
want to waste a single jiffy of her precious life. She was gaining an
experience and responsibility for her decisions.а She decided by herself that she wants to experience another
country and another culture.а It was her
own big victory because not everybody could do this Ц and her wandering through
the labyrinth of language, knowledge, beauty, her own mind really helped
her!а She believed in herself even more
and liked it as she likes everything new.а
She enjoyed all kinds of difficulties she had Ц not the difficulties
themselves but her own struggle and ridding them. She liked being independent
and responsible.а She lived, as she
wanted to, a bright life.а ButЕ
ааааааааа She doesnТt want
to stop on achieved.а While she was
diving into lifeТs streams and lakes, she learnt what kind of water and
landscape around she prefers.а She has
forgotten some of those; she comes to some of them very often; she lives in
some of them all the time.а She loves
people, loves capturing them in words and in colors of glazed paper, she likes
to do everything she likes to the edge, to take from it as much as
possible.а And she likes mirrors.а Because though she likes her own poems and
pictures, the best attainment so far Ц not by result but just by time and
strains spent Ц is her own I.а She tries
hard to make it a masterpiece.а And she
wants to keep doing it.
аааааааааааааааааа ааааааа